acceptance

How to Stay Positive in Negative Times

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These days we seem to be living amongst information overload.  We have negative news updates now creeping into our social media feeds, terrorism fears, constant internal comparisons to instagram accounts with stacks of followers, we're seeing the current gun violence in the US, we have financial fears.. the list goes on.  We cannot deny the times that we find ourselves living in, but we can take control of how we, as individuals and as a community, respond to them. The truth is, shit happens and its going to happen.  Once upon a time we all knew this, but our current world plasters perfection everywhere and its as if we've lost sight of the real world (this absolutely does not condone violence or hatred of any kind, and it never will.  Those kind of acts must be dealt with effectively.)  Life will always be an ebb and flow, just like the seasons, circumstances will always come and go.  Once we learn to let go and allow nature to take it's course (allow the negative circumstance to naturally subside), we are reminded that everything is only ever temporary and there is always a lesson to be learned, and a greater outcome awaiting us.

With all of that in mind, here are my tips for 'weathering the negative storms' and keeping a positive mind:

  1. Have compassion.  Compassion or those communities effected, compassion for your co-workers, compassion for your neighbour driving you nuts, compassion for the driver who just cut you off on the road.  We must expand our awareness to the fact that, in one way or another, we're all struggling.  That neighbour who is driving you nuts; may be about to lose a parent, that driver who just cut you off; may have just lost their job and may not know how they will pay their rent this month.  No one is rude, angry or hurtful to another when they are genuinely happy in their own life.  Once we understand this, it makes it a lot easier to deal with negative/unhappy people.
  2. Only concern yourself with what you can control.  This one can be a hard idea to grasp, but once we do, it's very freeing.  It doesn't change the circumstance, but it changes your reaction to it.  It's not about sitting back helplessly, it's simply the act of letting outside circumstances be managed by those who have the power to make the change.  Stress and worry wreak havoc on our nervous system, so when we stress that our train is delayed and we are now late for work, we're asking for a morning of chaos; unnecessary anxiety, stress & worry.  Stressing while sitting on the train wont make it go any faster and you cant get out and push it!  So this is where you accept that you're going to be late, let those who need to know, know and enjoy the extra 20 mins you get out of the office!  Relax, your co-workers wont even be thinking anything of it anyway, they're busy reading their emails or trawling news.com.au.
  3. Appreciation for everything.  Even when times are tough, there is always something to be grateful for.  Be thankful for the person who held the train door for you, be grateful for the lovely meal you ate, appreciate your income every month, thankful for the roof over your head, grateful for your loving partner or family.  As much as there are endless negative things we could think about, there are endless positive things.  The more you turn your attention to the good things in your life, the more they will show up.  It is law!
  4. Acceptance of the circumstances.  Accept that crappy things happen, accept that you will move through it and accept that the sun will break and you will find yourself on the other side, wiser, stronger, smarter and with a fresh outlook.

All it takes is one small positive action towards another to have a positive ripple effect.  You may be the reason that person smiled this morning, they may then hold the door for another, that person may then buy their co-worker a coffee.  All of these small action pay it forward for more optimism and positivity throughout us all.

How can you pay it forward today?

xSx

LifeCoachSam Has An Exciting New Vibe.

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It has been a while since I last posted, but now I am back- more refreshed and feeling better than ever! A lot has changed over the past year and I am feeling so inspired to bring you lots of helpful articles, guides and personal stories to continue to motivate you to live a balanced life.  The direction and focus of this website will be changing slightly.  I am feeling more drawn to wellness writing rather than writing only personal development content.  I feel like wellness covers all areas of our lives in the same way that personal development does, however, wellness allows for more freedom and balance.

This past year, a wellness-lifestyle has been my focus and a priority.  Wellness across the board; healthful food, getting back into basketball, taking time out, lots of socialising, massages, meditation classes, learning to say no, learning to stick to my new budget, fitness and adventure.   Wellness is a grounded lifestyle but it also encourages us to continually learn and grow.

To clarify, my definition of 'wellness' is obtaining health and balance across all areas of my life, essentially a lifestyle of maintaining general wellbeing through making healthful choices.

By no means have I been perfect nor totally strict on myself, but each and every week I take the time out for myself and come back to centre.  Whether that be cutting sugar for a week, or committing to increased exercise, or even getting my butt to Sunday morning meditation class, but no matter what, I always come back to honouring my true self.

As I write this blog, I am sitting on my couch still buzzing, yet feeling totally balanced from my first Reiki session.  This is just one of the new things I have fallen in love with over this past year and I will be sure to give you the full low-down on Reiki and, well, pretty much everything else that I have tried, loved, those not-so-loved and everything in between.

Throughout this journey, my intuition has become my greatest tool.  It is a daily compass.  And from this place, I am feeling so inspired and energised to bring you great content on lots of health and wellbeing areas that I have explored, re-discovered and lived this past year.

My desire for this page is to create a community of self-lovers and wellness-junkies.  Our personal wellbeing must be our first priority!  If we are neglecting ourselves, how can we show up fully to this world.  It starts with you and your relationship with yourself, and is maintained by you showing up for your greatest good.  It is not always easy, but it is definitely always worth it.

I am so excited for you all to see what is in store for LifeCoachSam.  So much goodness is coming your way!

xSx

Remember, every smile is contagious- so go spread the good stuff!

Knowing When to Let Go and Why No-one is Doing It

IMG_8699 As humans, we have a hard time letting go. We have been taught that if something didn't work out how we had expected then we have somehow failed or that we have been rejected. We assume that we were the problem or that we did something wrong. We then live in the "what ifs" and we continue to live in a state of "if only".

What we really need to be taught is that you were not being rejected you were being re-directed, and it's a wonderful thing. Society, as a whole, has controlling tendencies, we feel like we can control the outcome of every situation and that it must go our way and if it doesn't then we were hard done by. Doesn't that sound like a restricted life to live? Once we learn to truly let go of our expectations and trust that there is a greater plan for us, then we can start to live a more relaxed life.

To have faith in the unknown can take a bit of guts at first, but it is totally worth it. It can sound a little foreign initially to sit there are say "I know that [insert situation] didn't work out because something better is on the way" but it's true. Life doesn't have to be a struggle. We can choose to acknowledge that something/someone wasn't right for us, let it go and get back to enjoying the beauty of life, or you can sit and question "why?". There is so much happiness in staying calm and knowing that we are deserving of perfect outcomes for us at that time. Sometimes a situation simply provides a life lesson to be learnt. A lesson that will provide the knowledge we need to take forth with us on our life journey. Sometimes the hard decisions have to be made for us. We form emotional attachments to expected outcomes and we have a hard time seeing it play out in any other form.

When you find yourself stuck in the letting go process, try some of these exercise:

1: Sit calmly in a quiet room. Say to yourself (silently or aloud) "I have learnt everything that I needed to learn from this situation/person/event and its time to let it go. I release you and I have faith that something better is on its way.".

2: Talk it out with a trusted friend, but change the objective of the conversation. Talk with them with the aim to release rather than complain. Hear their advice and speak of the journey you will take to move forward.

3: Meditate! If you are new to meditation don't be scared off. All it takes is 5 minutes a day of silently monitoring your breathe to calm your mind and start to see your situation in a more peaceful way.

4: Write a release letter. Write down everything that you would say to a person that has hurt you, write down how you feel, write down how you expected something to go. Release it all, and finish the letter with a plan to move forward, knowing that something better is on its way.

Remember, you are always growing, always evolving and you are going to outgrow things. It is inevitable. You will outgrow people, jobs, homes, cars etc. Be wiling to let things go and embrace the new. This is where the excitement is, new stories, new experiences, new encounters. Be open to new opportunities as you don't yet know what you can discover. But if we stay in our limited thinking with thoughts like "this should have happened" or "if only I did this differently" you will miss all of the new and wonderful experiences you are yet to have had yet. You may be walking down a different path to the one you had expected, but have faith that it is leading to a greater destination.

P.S. Remember every smile is contagious, so go spread the good stuff!